Tuesday, 10 April 2018

THE RIDING LION


‘It is not all about the salary, it is not all about being at your comfort zone. Follow your calling in regard to meeting other people’s needs, and in no doubt yours shall be met automatically.’ These tremendously powerful words from one of Kenya’s most celebrated woman, did not just make sense to me as an interviewer but also challenged me as an individual following my career path.
Born and raised from a very humble background, by a teenage mother whose only source of daily bread was coffee picking, no one would ever tell that she would achieve so much in life. ‘I went to school on barefoot, and I was not a smart student per say, I failed most of the times in my exams’ she recalls. Everybody has a story, and even though it’s a cliché, I will still say that for every successful person, there are series of terrible fails.
We all know how finding a job in our beloved nation is quite a task, many jokes have been made and many say, that the process of finding a job in Kenya is already a ‘job’. Things were never a crystal stair to her, as she also faced the same job seeking headache. ‘I went for my first job interview without the knowledge of what the job was all about. I did so well to the satisfaction of the interviewing panel, only to be told that the job was for a messenger who should be a good rider!’ she narrates. She agreed to it despite her gender and to make it worse, she did not really know how to ride (she had to lie), she needed a job and to her it did not matter what kind of a job, as long as it would bring food to the table and sort out bills.
 She was offered the job opportunity and therefore riding was not an option, it was mandatory. ‘I was forced to beg a neighbor who owned a motorcycle to help me learn the much I could, he agreed to it on condition that I was the one to fuel the motorbike’, our conversation continued. The ‘border bullies’, as she termed them, did not spare her with critics, remember the good old days where traditions were treasured and a woman on a bicycle or motorcycle was a taboo? Yes, but she gave them all deaf ears. She was that lion, her focus was on that job, and against all odds she must have been one of a kind employee, the very first female gender as a rider(and riding has been her hobby since then).
What would prompt one into leaving a well-paying job, into an unknown mission of helping the less fortunate with absolutely zero hopes of a salary or income? No not one! Many would say, who doesn’t want that money anyway? But her case was different, she must have been very bold, to resign from her well-paying job, in order to get back to her mother land (Meru County) to try and give hope to victims of HIV/AIDs, and this is where her journey of becoming a human rights activist commenced, what a golden heart!
What a journey! From an aspiring lawyer, to a human activist who does way much more than what lawyers do, it is like receiving your request in double portion. Mercy Chidi Baidoo, is a woman of substance, a woman to be celebrated and above all, a woman to inspire many, I call her the ‘lion’. Her passion for children, tender hands to care for them and the burning desire to see happy faces of children despite their backgrounds, made her realize her dream and she came with a child rights organization by the name ‘Ripples International’, of which she is now the Chief Executive Officer (C.E.O) as well as the founder.
The award winning human rights activist has done so much, not only in Kenya, but across many nations, that echoes a force to reckon with. She is a mother to thousands of girls, and has restored hope to many, especially those that happened to have been sexually violated. Riffles international has been on the front raw, in fighting for children’s right, it is literally their voice. With the corrupt nature of our police system, it is not easy to seek justice for the victims, but Mercy has never lost hope. She opened her inner ears and eyes to the women and girls that are dying in silence.
Mercy has handled enormous violation cases that she cannot recall, but there are those that still linger in her mind so vividly. ‘There is this girl that was impregnated by her own biological father, and she kept asking me what will be the relationship between her child and her father, will the baby call her father, father or grandfather? I would breakdown for lacking an appropriate answer to give her. ’ she tells me. With Riffles International, Mercy has opened up a rescue home, by the name, Tumaini home in order to help abandoned children. The home majors in adoption of abandoned kids, fostering, accommodation, medical help especially for reconstructive surgeries, legal address, and child witness support and training for prevention of child violation. How would you describe such a person?
Everyone has a story, and this is Mercy Chidi Baidoo’s. Though not so much has been brought to book, this is the kind of a person to emulate. She could be a rider, riding her dreams into a better world that she desires, and if only we could follow suit, we would make a better Kenya, if not a better world. We could be crawling, walking or riding like her or even flying, let us just try and do it the right way. Be that lion in your own kingdom, have your focus and strategies just like she did, and you will live your dream. ‘So how can you describe yourself in one word?’ my final question as the interview comes to a valediction. ‘Go-getter’ she replies. Strive to achieve your dreams, not by doing things because people are doing, or because you need the money, do it because it is the right thing to do. Be that go-getter!

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

PREGNANT FOR MY COUSIN

The rains won’t stop, chilly as it is we must just put him to rest. I loved him, I mean he loved me, or let’s just say, she loved him more. ‘I will miss you my husband, fare thee well.’ She says as she pours soil on the coffin that is already in the grave, as an African norm of bidding the loved ones final goodbye.  This is a burial ceremony of my special person, somebody’s husband, don’t get me wrong though. I watch from afar with my teary eyes that I have hidden under my black shades. People could be hurting, but I feel like am hurting the most, yet I try so hard to hide this from my husband who is standing right next to me.
Love doesn’t ask why, they say, and so did it never ask why I was married but still ended up loving another person (who was also married). Love knows no boundary, and indeed it crossed the boundary and brought together two married people to a ‘secret affair’. Don’t call this ‘mpango wa kando” as most of you would term it already, this was real love. Why couldn’t we just divorce our spouses and have it publicly official? Some would ask, but what if we just loved it that way? Let’s all wonder!
It was love at first flight, if not sight. At Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, I boarded the famous classy Kenya Airways plane to Mombasa, for a three day job I had been called for at Mombasa county Assembly. Right next to me, sat this handsome looking guy. He wasn’t tall dark and handsome as many ladies would prefer, but to me the light skin tone, the neatly shaved and stylish beards and the masculine body meant everything. ‘Halloo, my name is Dave, you stay in Mombasa?’ he broke the abnormal silence between us, as we departed. O.M.G, his voice literally melted my heart. ‘Shirleen, I mean Shirley…... u can call me Shirley.’ I murmured in a stammering tone, confused of what to say. ‘No, I don’t stay there, am going for a job appointment’ I finally managed to express myself.
 It happened that Dave was also visiting Mombasa for the first time, what a coincidence! We were lost in a beautiful conversation of sweet nothings, as we knew each other best and believe me when I say that the chemistry was real. Within no time we were in Mombasa, I wish it lasted just a little longer. Since we had different missions and tasks to accomplish, we exchanged contacts, promised to see each other again and he bid me goodbye with a big warm hug. In summary, my three day job in Mombasa was fabulous, I don’t know how long Dave was going to take in this coastal town, but my time was finally up and I had to go back to Nairobi, my hustling city.
I live in Nairobi, at the leafy suburbs of Ruaka, close to Rhunda or I should just call it ‘lower Rhunda’ with my loving husband, whom I thought I loved so much until I met Dave. My husband and I have been together for three years now since we tied the knot, and bid goodbye to the bachelor’s life, unfortunately he is impotent that means we can’t have children, unless otherwise. Three years is a lot to a hyper lady like me who never lasted even for three months in my prior relationships, allow me term this as a ‘miracle’ as I never saw myself getting this far. Dave became my world of fantasy, I longed for him, dreamt about him and did everything always having him in mind. I was like a teen, who just met his first crush.
Finally the long awaited dates were here! We had quite several dates when Dave got back to Nairobi, he made it clear to me that he was married with two kids, and I had no secrets to hide too as I was married but childless. The secret outings became the order of the day as we excused ourselves from our respective spouses with the excuse of ‘business meetings’. There is a day I happened to bump into my husband in town, coming from a coffee date with Dave. This was terrifying, I was forced to introduce him as my cousin he didn’t know about to avoid trouble, as my husband would not have taken it lightly.
The lying might have eased my work, as I could comfortably meet my Dave, even by the knowledge of my hubby since he knew that he was just but a cousin. The worst happened when I could not see the moon! I had missed my periods for two months and that was a reason enough to get me scared and worried. I called Dave to inform him about the shocking revelation after confirming via pregnancy test, that I was in deed expectant. We agreed to meet at a certain hotel in town to discuss about what next, and this happened to be the very last conversation between us. I was at the hotel in time, waited for so long only for Dave to fail me, he didn’t show up. I felt betrayed, I cried silently and cursed a lot. Little did I know that Dave was no more? It was on his way to meet me at the hotel that he encountered a fatal road accident that took his life on the spot.
I got home to the comforting arms of my husband. ‘Sorry love, it’s all in the news’ he whispered to my ears. Wait what? I didn’t get that right. What was all in the news? I came back home crying over the disappointment I had for not seeing Dave only to receive a double shock from my husband about his death. Good Lord! It couldn’t sink, he was gone. Where was I to start from?
My husband has been with me all through, he made a major contribution to fund the funeral knowing that he was doing it for my cousin. We have laid him to rest, but am still left with one riddle. How do I break the news to him? Abortion is not an option, I really need this baby, for it could be the only one I will ever have. ‘I am sorry love, he was never my cousin, and I am carrying his child!’ I finally whispered to his ears, as i burst into tears. 'What?!! Pregnant for your cousin?'.....



THE RIDING LION

‘It is not all about the salary, it is not all about being at your comfort zone. Follow your calling in regard to meeting other people’s...